Welcome to Our D-Life

Type 1 Diabetes. Ugh!  Not what you want to hear following the words "Your son has been diagnosed with..."  But those were the words that we heard on November 30, 2013.  As of today it has been 128 days since we learned that our lives have been altered forever. But here's the catch, Buddy may have Type 1 Diabetes, but it doesn't have him!

 

We were the lucky family. We were the Type 2 diabetic parents who knew the signs of our disease. In October, Buddy dealt with a respiratory virus.  And again the Monday before Thanksgiving. I'd notice a drop in his weight but attributed it to a growth spurt. It's happened before, lose 5-10 pounds and *poof* grow about 3 inches taller. Even our extended family noticed it at our Thanksgiving dessert gathering.  BY that time though, I had begun to notice that my ADD/Anxiety child had become more angry and less tolerant of his younger brother. I noticed that he couldn't get enough water to drink and along with that he couldn't pee it out fast enough.  The puzzle pieces started to fall into place.  After a large post Turkey day lunch, on a whim, using my husband's glucose meter we tested his blood.  the reading came back and knocked me for a loop.... HIGH LEVELS.  The monitor couldn't even give us a number.  It meant that his blood glucose level was ABOVE 600 and was in the danger zone.  Not wanting to panic, we decided to let it go until the next morning and do a fasting test. Knowing the level should have been any where from 90 to 120, I was shattered to see a reading of 268.  Thanksgiving weekend, our doctor away on vacation, and our kid is seriously ill. What do we do? 

 

Walking into our local hospital's ER was the start of a whirlwind weekend that will forever be ingrained in my mind.  And that is coming from a woman who normally has a Swiss-cheese memory. The 572 reading on the blood glucose monitor at the hospital is tattooed on my brain.  I'll never forget the super bumpy ride in the ambulance from one hospital to the Children's Hospital at Royal Oak Beaumont Hospital.  I'll never rid my mind of the tears and reddened face of my baby boy, asking why this had to happen to him.  I can vividly remember every conversation had with EVERY SINGLE medical professional. I remember sitting, wide awake, and completely sleep deprived in the middle of the night, just watching my son sleep in his oversized hospital bed.  Surprising the doctors, nurses, dieticians, nutritionist, diabetic nurse educators all by knowing as much about types 1 & 2 and how to test blood glucose and administer an insulin injection. (we were very quick studies indeed!)Walking the hospital hallways at 2 in the morning with tears and confusion in my eyes, being stopped by the night shift nurses who so lovingly hugged me and assured me that I am strong enough to be the best D Mom I can be. They said this wasn't going to be an easy life, but it could be a manageable one as long as I did my best.

 

And you know what? Those nurses were 100 percent dead on right!  I am a damn good D Mom.  I will take anyone down who tries to get in my way. My son's health and well being come first.  I've jumped head first into Advocacy. I've read more articles about the latest advances than I have done pleasure reading.  And I will continue to educate myself and others along the way. I will raise funds for research for a cure. I will shout from the mountain tops abut our life with T1. I will make life as normal as normal can be while dealing with an incurable disease. And all of it will be done with all of the love that my heart can hold! Why?

 

Because to paraphrase our favorite childhood book, "I'll love him forever, I'll like him for always. AS long as he's living, my D-baby, he'll be!"

 

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Want to make a difference in Robert's life and in the lives of children and adults like him?  Please consider making a donation to the JDRF.  On April 15, 2014, I will be providing the link to our team's Walk for a Cure donor page.  Any donation, no matter how big or how small, can and will make a difference for our D families.

Signs, Signs, Everywhere Signs

This post was created in response to a writing prompt by Mama Kat:  "If you were the type to believe in 'signs', descibe a 'sign' you have received from someone."   I'm not sure when I wrote it, but I'm pretty sure it was just prior to returning to my home town just prior to my high school reunion in November, 2011. After seeing these 'signs' to and from my journey tp Philadelphia, I just HAD to share it with all of you. Warning, a few tissues may be required during reading.

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Samantha never walked this Earth, hell she never had the chance!  But that gorgeous little girl really knows how to soar majestically with the regal falcons in our little town and every where that I travel from home.

Back in 2001, I gave birth to a tiny little girl who never really had a chance at life. Born at 25 weeks gestation, her under-developed lungs never took to the medicines the NICU doctors were pumping into her body.  Samantha lived just nine hours but she made an everlasting mark on my heart.

On any given day (especially when I am driving long distances), my magical little girl makes an appearance by way of her on special sign.  She's no longer a tiny infant in my dreams, but a young beauty, sporting glorous, spiraled, auburn pigtails, wearing pink overalls with a pristine white short-sleeved shirt, ruffled white bobby socks with pink trim and snow white sneakers.  Her laugh is pure and her smile endearing. She is a free spirit, a dare devil in her own way!

Early on after "losing" Samantha, she visited me in a dream arriving on the back of a red tail falcon.  Smiling and giggling, holding on to the scruff of its neck, her pigtails flowing in the wind. She hopped off upon landing and rain straight into my arms.  She whispered "I love you Mama. Now just smile for me. I'll always be around you.  My friends here will bring me to you when you need me most. I love you to heaven and back again.  When you see the falcons, I'm there smiling at you and telling you that I love you.  So no more tears Mama, no more tears."

Ever since that day, whenever I see a regal falcon or hawk with its immense wingspan open wide gliding gracefully through the skies, I smile and blow my baby girl a kiss and tell her "I love you more baby girl! I love you more!"

For Smanatha,
With ALL of my never ending love and admiration.
I love you to Heaven and back again, times Infinity!
Love ALWAYS,
Mama
xoxox

P.S.  Thanks for keeping me company on that long drive to and from Gandma & Grandpa's house last week!

Seven - It's OUR Lucky Number

"It's A Boy!"  Those were the words of  Harry A. Ludwig, D. O., the world's most knowledgeable, loving and caring obstetrician.  We just called him "Doc".

Doc was there with us when we got out positive test results with our first child, Samantha. And he was there with us after her death, sobbing tears of pain and sorrow, tears of hopes and dreams crushed.  That man had THE most consoling hugs EVER, the kind you get from your grandpa. The kind of hugs that said everything is going to be all right.  Warm, loving hugs full of hope and happiness.  

That was the reason that a year and a half after Samantha's death, we went back to our good friend wanting to try again for another child.  Doc knew the routine, Glucophage three times a day in conjunction with Clomid.  First month we tried, BINGO! We were expecting.  And Doc was the first person we called to share the news!

The first 26 weeks were the most harrowing.  Waiting, each passing day, with baited breath; we wanted, no, we NEEDED to get to 27 weeks this time to know all was well with our baby-to-be. Through it all, Doc was there promising us "poopy diapers at 3 AM".

It was decided that our new family member would arrive two and a half weeks before my due date of March 28th.  When March 12th arrived, we were filled with so much anxiety, but mostly with joy and happy anticipation.  Up until this point, we didn't know whether it would be a girl or a boy.  The mystery was going to be revealed and our world will change for ever, for the better!

Seven years ago, we heard the most wonderful and amazing words we've ever heard, "It's A Boy!" On Friday, March 12, 2004, at 8:36AM, Eastern Standard Time, our little Buddy came into this world, in the warm, waiting hands of Dr. Harry.  He got his first hug from that great man.

Seven years ago, we heard the saddest words ever "Call a priest, he might not live past today."

Seven years, he's had to over come one medical milestone after another....

In seven years, he has proven all the neo-natologists wrong!

In seven years, he's blown them all away!!

These have been the best seven years of my life and I would not trade them for all the riches or wonders in the world!

Seven years ago, Buddy was gently brought into this world by a wonderful man; a man that we will never forget even though we are separated by time and eternity!  Without him we would not be celebrating another milestone in our lives!  Thanks Doc for one of the best gifts ever. Thanks for our lucky seventh year.  We will love you forever for it!

Happy SEVENTH birthday Buddy! And thank you for being one of the best things to ever happen to me! I love you to Pluto and back again.... and I always will!

Back to Blogging Challenge -Day 2 - A Post I Wish More People Had Read

Hallelujah!!  If this blog prompt were a high school class I'd have an easy A for sure! When I read  the prompt for day 2 of the Back to Blogging Challenge, to re-upload a post  that I wished more people had read, I knew immediately which one it  would be. The title came from a Writer's Workshop from Mama Kat - "The Most Unbelievable Blue Eyes I've Ever Seen" from way back on August 11th of this year.  Only in my world, the title changed just a wee bit.  My title? "The Most Unbelievable Blue Eyes I've Ever Never Seen".

The reason I wish more people had read it was a very simple one. I wanted people to understand that just shy of nine years ago, a beautiful little girl entered this world and caused some mighty profound changes in my life.  I wrote the blog to tell the world she was here, if only for nine and one-half hours (on her Daddy's birthday to boot).  "Dammit! She was here, she was alive, and she was, and still is, tremendously loved!"  

Even though almost nine years has passed, I love little Miss Samantha Marie more today than I did that day and that she is forever etched in my heart... especially those blazing blue eyes I've never seen.

The Most Unbelievable Blue Eyes I’ve (Ever) Never Seen

That’s right, you read the title correctly, it does say NEVER. Those eyes, you see, belong to the most precious being I’ve ever had the privilege to be a part of… my precious princess, Samantha Marie.

My princess was born way too early on a dreary morning in mid-November of 2001. Twenty-four and a half weeks into my pregnancy, “slim chances of survival” were the doctor’s words to my husband and I. But the little princess beat the odds, well sort of. She patiently waited 4 full days water my water broke before deciding it was time to meet her Mama face-to-face.

What a scary day! One minute going for an amnio, the next minute being prepped for a c–section delivery. The dreams I dreamed of for my child were all coming to a potential end. Born at 10:36 AM and weighing a mere 1 and ½ pounds, my precious auburn haired little girl came into the world.

Being SO tiny and SO premature, Samantha never truly opened her eyes… but I know they were a blazing blue! Mama and Daddy both have deep blue eyes and for those that know your basic science that only means one thing, Baby Girl definitely was going to have blue eyes, just like her brothers to come after her.

That evening when I got to hold her tiny frame in my arms, all I could do was stare at her eyes. And somehow I knew she could see me, only something another mother in my position could understand.

It’s been 8 and ½ long years since that day, but when I close my eyes I can still see her blazing baby blues!

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And now for the business part:  This post has been recreated and inspired by the SITS Girls BACK TO BLOGGING EVENT.  Interested in more information about this challenge?? Check them out at Back2Blogging.  Who knows  where  it just might lead you!

This blogging  challenge event is sponsored by Standards of Excellence, Westar Kitchen and Bath and Florida Builder Appliances.  Be sure to check them  out. Maybe with their help and that of the SITS Girls, Thelma & Louise can come live at your house! (Although I REALLY want them to come and live with me!)