Signs, Signs, Everywhere Signs

This post was created in response to a writing prompt by Mama Kat:  "If you were the type to believe in 'signs', descibe a 'sign' you have received from someone."   I'm not sure when I wrote it, but I'm pretty sure it was just prior to returning to my home town just prior to my high school reunion in November, 2011. After seeing these 'signs' to and from my journey tp Philadelphia, I just HAD to share it with all of you. Warning, a few tissues may be required during reading.

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Samantha never walked this Earth, hell she never had the chance!  But that gorgeous little girl really knows how to soar majestically with the regal falcons in our little town and every where that I travel from home.

Back in 2001, I gave birth to a tiny little girl who never really had a chance at life. Born at 25 weeks gestation, her under-developed lungs never took to the medicines the NICU doctors were pumping into her body.  Samantha lived just nine hours but she made an everlasting mark on my heart.

On any given day (especially when I am driving long distances), my magical little girl makes an appearance by way of her on special sign.  She's no longer a tiny infant in my dreams, but a young beauty, sporting glorous, spiraled, auburn pigtails, wearing pink overalls with a pristine white short-sleeved shirt, ruffled white bobby socks with pink trim and snow white sneakers.  Her laugh is pure and her smile endearing. She is a free spirit, a dare devil in her own way!

Early on after "losing" Samantha, she visited me in a dream arriving on the back of a red tail falcon.  Smiling and giggling, holding on to the scruff of its neck, her pigtails flowing in the wind. She hopped off upon landing and rain straight into my arms.  She whispered "I love you Mama. Now just smile for me. I'll always be around you.  My friends here will bring me to you when you need me most. I love you to heaven and back again.  When you see the falcons, I'm there smiling at you and telling you that I love you.  So no more tears Mama, no more tears."

Ever since that day, whenever I see a regal falcon or hawk with its immense wingspan open wide gliding gracefully through the skies, I smile and blow my baby girl a kiss and tell her "I love you more baby girl! I love you more!"

For Smanatha,
With ALL of my never ending love and admiration.
I love you to Heaven and back again, times Infinity!
Love ALWAYS,
Mama
xoxox

P.S.  Thanks for keeping me company on that long drive to and from Gandma & Grandpa's house last week!

The Most Unbelievable Blue Eyes I’ve (Ever) Never Seen

That’s right, you read the title correctly, it does say NEVER. Those eyes, you see, belong to the most precious being I’ve ever had the privilege to be a part of… my precious princess, Samantha Marie.

My princess was born way too early on a dreary morning in mid-November of 2001. Twenty-four and a half weeks into my pregnancy, “slim chances of survival” were the doctor’s words to my husband and I. But the little princess beat the odds, well sort of. She patiently waited 4 full days water my water broke before deciding it was time to meet her Mama face-to-face.

What a scary day! One minute going for an amnio, the next minute being prepped for a c–section delivery. The dreams I dreamed of for my child were all coming to a potential end. Born at 10:36 AM and weighing a mere 1 and ½ pounds, my precious auburn haired little girl came into the world.

Being SO tiny and SO premature, Samantha never truly opened her eyes… but I know they were a blazing blue! Mama and Daddy both have deep blue eyes and for those that know your basic science that only means one thing, Baby Girl definitely was going to have blue eyes, just like her brothers to come after her.

That evening when I got to hold her tiny frame I my arms, all I could do was stare at her eyes. And somehow I knew she could see me, only something another mother in my position could understand.

It’s been 8 and ½ long years since that day, but when I close my eyes I can still see her blazing baby blues!